Purpose

Ok, so I'm at one of the moments in life where being reflective is inevitable. Yet another "event" has come and gone that has left me wondering and questioning...well, everything; who I am, what I'm supposed to be doing, what if anything have I done right?, what do I need to change.....and frankly what the hell just happened? We'd all like to think we have some kind of control over our lives....but do we? I mean we truck along doing what it is we do....thinking for the most part that we're getting it right, know we'll make a few minor mistakes but assuming yes THAT word, assuming our performance and productivity will shimmeee us past the small bleeps and blunders. Uuuuummmm HELLO, I think not. Sooooo what's the bleeping explanation? and NO I do not want to dwell on it, but neither do I want to brush it off and ignore it so it can rear it's ugly head later and give me problems because I didn't deal with it. Exploring options here....Karma? Divine intervention? Luck of the draw? Meanness? or how about just plain stupidity on my part? OK, WHATEVER!!! How do we slow down those MOMENTS??? U know, the moments when we have a decision to make, one that could cause us PROBLEMS!!! How do we recognize and slow it the hell down so we can make the right decision at a very crucial moment? Or are these little instances that become HUGE life changing events inevitable? So cry, kick, scream and yell on and off for a week, then get MAD, make an attempt to fix it if it's fixable and MOVE ON!!! Do I have it right guys?!!! I mean that's the most accepted chain of behaviors right??!!! So FINE, I'm moving on. I still feel a little anger circling down deep, a little frustration, a little depression all mixed in with hope and an insane drive to survive....geez, I'm a psychopath!!! Yes folks, next step, new horizon, strap yourself in cuz I'm sure it's gone be bumpy for a little longer. And it's too damn pretty outside to be mad about it. And my kids are way too young to worry that the world is not ok....So give it to me Pips....Happy, happy, happy, Joy, joy, joy!!! Come on Natasha sing a pocket full of sunshine for me!!! ( She's at the bottom in the playlist if you want to click on her)!!!