Dating, yeah right!!!

So, I'm trying to do this dating thing again. Been divorced 18 months now and separated a year before that. Lost a good friend that meant alot to me during that time as well. (NOT the girl, who by the way tried to make all nicey nicey a couple of months ago and wanted to be friends again...ridiculous...i try to only be stupid one way once...yeah right!-but, i was nice, smooth, and graciously accepted her apology...D.O.N.E.) Anyway, you could say I'm a little gun shy and let's face it...I'm NOT your typical "normal" person; oppinionated, highstrung,....no laughing, please...at least I'm aware right?! So this means what?!? My friend was the best of them all (and he will barely communicate with me)...so no one measure up, not even close...they are mostly boring, boring, boring, rude, dishonest, and definitely NOT gentlemen....course at times I am no lady. I could go on and on but PLEASE-do I really have to do this, I mean really?! I know Heavenly Father's plan is eternal mates, eternal families....can't I just live right and let him pick the guy once I'm up there?! I'm told HE doesn't help those that don't help themselves...isn't going to church, reading scriptures, praying, minimizing my insane drive and ambition to be somebody and do something great so I can be a good mom...good enough? Isn't this "helping" myself? I mean you guys know me...I love my children and for the first time I really want to be a good mom. But do you know how hard it is for me to be just a floor nurse...OMG....HARD! So doesn't this sacrifice mean something? Can I please, please NOT do this dating thing, its a ridiculous waist of my time and energy!